On a UK BBC Radio 4 programme, I listened to a history and background from the world of brass band music. Among the bands featured was the Hanwell Band from west London. This Band is no longer active, but was a premier English band in its day. The late Peter Skellern, singer and song writer, had his first and greatest hit with his number You’re a lady in 1972. That song was in the UK charts for weeks, I was told, with musical backing from Hanwell Band.
Aside from its melody line, harmonies, and musical presentation, the pathos and appeal of Skellern’s lyrics is enhanced by not knowing the response from the lady. The sense of ache is real. How can any woman not melt with words and sentiments like these, when brought with such clear sincerity by a man. But we just do not know ; we are not told. We can never know. There is no finality to those lyrics; the words fade away to the instrumental backing of brass and piano. The song ends : we are left hanging in suspense. And hope.
Between a lady and a man, words are needed to convey what cannot otherwise be measured. For a relationship to grow and develop, there needs to be a two-way flow of communication, in whatever form that communication may take. There is non-verbal communication which can be clear and eloquent. But words cannot be totally replaced by action. Deeds do reinforce words. Dealing with the dirty dishes is capable sometimes of saying much more than a bunch of flowers. Standing on an empty street there would be on offer no option of doing anything other than to respond in word to what he had to say in word.
For long-term relationships to endure, there is that balance between saying and doing, capable showing along with telling, telling along with showing, what it is that is gong on.
That which is felt, needs also to be ‘tellt’.
Peter Skellern You’re a lady, I’m a man
Now the evening has come to a close
And I’ve had my last dance with you
On to the empty streets we go
And it might be my last chance with you
So I might as well get it over
The things I have to say won’t wait until another day
You’re a lady, I’m a man, you’re supposed to understand
How these things are often planned to be
You’re romantic, I’m a fool
You’re the teacher, I’ve come to school
Here I sit and hope that you’ll love me
You’re pure magic, unlock my chain
Nothing ventured nothing gained
And so I say with no restraint, be mine, be mine
Hard to answer I agree
But then I’ve got to know
I’m not asking you to marry me
Just a little love to show
Oh I know I could make you happy
So the things I have to say
Won’t wait until another day
You’re a lady, I’m a man, you’re supposed to understand
How these things are often planned to be
You’re romantic, I’m a fool
You’re the teacher, I’ve come to school
Here I sit and hope that you’ll love me
You’re pure magic, unlock my chain
Nothing ventured nothing gained
And so I say with no restraint, be mine, be mine
Perceptions & Pictures 